tomandzoe.com - live from the northside

So here, after much hype is Phil’s guest report! Which had this note attached…

Unfortunately, while this conference at the Casino was billed as an excessive hedonistic weekend it ended up being nothing in comparison to the stories conjured up by Hunter. To be honest, it was filled with mild mannered, almost conservative attempts at leaving an impression on the Gold Coast - which, as far as I could gauge, went mostly unnoticed. With this in mind I thought I would provide some brief journal entries - which do extend the truth a bit - but i am sure you get the vibe!!

Thursday - Day 1:

Out the door at midday - our first destination was the Qantas club. Unfortunately we had been booked on Jetstar and as we walked though the terminal the hope of free booze and tasty snacks faded as questions were raised as to whether there would actually be a Qantas club in the Jetstar terminal. However, these fears were soon over come as we found the club - the booze started to flow.

So there we found ourselves - in the middle of a Qantas club, surrounded by businessmen on never-ending phone calls, constantly checking emails and guzzling beer like it was their first drink in 3 years. My first thoughts were, who could honestly be in such high demand as these guys? Now I do not claim to be an important person who people need to contact, far from it, but are these people so busy that 100% of their time is monopolised by business - surely not?

Pondering this I started to think that a lot of all this might not be business related. Could they be acting? Could they be playing Solitaire on their computers, organising the weekend, or could they be on the phone to the “other woman in the next city?” Who knows? Anyway, after a few drinks my thoughts on this topic were minimal. After approx 2 hrs, the alcohol really began to take hold. I remember saying something like, “I feel a bit light-headed; Maybe we should board our plane….”

As you can imagine the details of the flight are a bit hazy. I do remember landing though. We boarded a bus and made our way to the Casino. As we were travelling along the Gold Coast highway I realised how crazy/tacky the Gold Coast really is. Every time I go there I am amazed. Everything seems so artificial (as it often is) and so out of place. Oh well, I guess that is the beauty of this place - that you can escape all that is considered normal. As you can imagine, the Casino strongly embraces this vibe. This place is an honest attempt to allow mad punters to escape the throws of reality. Prominent features include; thousands of pokie machines, 1980s decor and countless old dudes sitting in the bar at 9.30am drinking Long Island ice tea after a heavy night on the tables. Unfortunately, however, there were no circus animals to be seen!

On arrival in our room the drinking continued.

From here on the night was particularly consuming. Numerous conversations blended into one. The topics seemed very similar, it was only the faces that differed. After much drinking I found myself in a cab to what we found to be the hip hop mecca for all of Qld - Qwest night club. The bass was phat, the place was jumping and I felt strangely out of place. Not only was I dressed in clothes that fit (as opposed to 10 sizes too big) I was not wearing a sweat band on my wrist or head. Normally I reserve my wearing of such attire to taking in a game of tennis or lawn bowls, but this did not seem to be the norm in this strange place. Anyway after further drinking and much looking at the ground (to avoid engaging eye contact with men that were the weight
of a small horse) the night was over - and I collapsed in a heap on my bed.

Friday - Day 2:

Hang over

My head feels like it is in a ever tightening vice. Breathing is difficult, eyes hurt and my thoughts and speech are far from coherent. I enter the conference room where I am seated for the next 8hrs listening to speeches. This can only be described as hell.

The evening is a sober but bizarre affair. We board a bus which is travelling to an unknown destination. 40 minutes later we arrive at Dreamworld. As you can imagine the thought of roller coasters and vertical drops are not overly inspiring to the hung over. Anyway, I thought I would test my luck. I was sorry for such boldness!

Saturday - Day 3:

Further speeches. Only on this day I am remarkably chipper. Not only am I fully hydrated but the end is in sight.

I board a plane at 2pm - I will be home soon!

This entry was posted on Thursday, March 24th, 2005 at 10:28 am and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.